Update

So, I'm done feeling sorry for myself and ready to be thankful for what I do have. I ended up not having a D&C and miscarried naturally. I had a wonderful crazy busy weekend with my girlfriends from college- I miss them already. AND we became an aunt and uncle (I know again!!) to Mikayla Nichole!!! Congrats Michelle and Chris. 3 wonderful girls!

To Post or not to Post?

So, I have been struggling with all kinds of emotions and I have decided that in order to heal I need to communicate my feelings. Why the blog and not a journal? Not sure. Maybe this will help someone out there that needs help more than me. And maybe I won't feel so alone. You never see someone on Facebook post "Second miscarriage-this sucks" or "I hate blighted ovums".

It's my second pregnancy (I miscarried at 9 weeks on Dec. 2nd) and I'm 10 weeks along and waiting... and waiting to miscarry yet again. I went in for a sonogram 2 weeks ago and there wasn't a heartbeat and we could only see a black sac. I had my levels checked- I went from 3,000 to 20,000. Which isn't normal due to what the sonogram showed. I went in again last week and it was confirmed again that nothing had changed. Was told that this miscarry will be a blighted ovum. If nothing changes then I will have to have a D&C on Friday. Based on how I feel I'm pretty sure something will happen by Friday.

I ask myself why me? My family has no problems with having children (I don't even need to mention John's side). Should I have not of waited until we were ready? Am I getting punished for something I did? How many times will I have to go thru the pain? I ask myself these questions and I know there isn't any answers. All I can do is pray and have others pray for us.

Love, Julie

"For I know the plans I have you says the Lord, they are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope". ~Jeremiah 29:11~